In 1984, my feet started to go numb, and I began to experience crippling migraine headaches. Within a few months, I was in the hospital, completely paralyzed and being told, "You might die. If you don't die, you will be disabled for the rest of your life." When I left the hospital, I started the long and arduous task of learning to walk and talk all over again. To make this task even more complicated, every muscle in my body had atrophied, and I was a 125-pound bag of skin and bones.

For weeks that turned into months, I went to physical therapy, doing exercises, taking one step between the parallel bars, raising my hands and arms, adding a 2-pound weight, then a 5-pound weight, and then more. Most days, I was there alone, pushing myself as hard as possible. Several days, my therapist would tell me that I might have gotten as far as I could go and that a cane or polio crutches would be my future.

Two words were tied together in my heart and mind. Faith and discouragement. What, can these words co-exist in a Jesus follower? All I can say is that one word kept me going, and another told me to settle. One word reminded me of my calling, and the other wanted me to change my life plans. One word lifted my eyes, and the other blurred my vision. My heart and mind were in a constant struggle to stay the course.

Merry Christmas? I think the Christmas story is filled with conflicting realities.

"Mary, you are going to get pregnant by a supernatural act of God."

"Joseph, your fiancé is pregnant."

"Mary, you will experience great pain in your soul over Jesus."

"Joseph, get your family to Egypt; there is going to be an attempt on his life."

There was nothing easy about the process of bringing a savior into the world, and I believe that the steep hill that was set in front of them created many tears, a keen sense of being alone, and some discouragement.

"Mary, you are highly favored; God is with you."

"Joseph, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, the child in her womb is from the Holy Spirit and will save his people from their sins."

Mary, my eyes have seen the salvation of the Lord, and it is your son.

Wow, what faith-building words. The accounts in Matthew and Luke, and Isaiah all point to faith-building words. But I think there was still a battle.

How do you keep discouragement from winning? How do you fuel faith? I think the answer is found in the story.

Listening to God's voice fuels faith. This will happen; he will save. God is keeping his promise. I will be with you. You are called, and with that calling comes blessing.

Doing what God says fuels faith. Take Mary as your wife; I accept what you say, God, may it be as you say.

Seeing a bigger picture fuels faith. He will save. He will rescue his people from their sins. He will be a light to the entire world.

Giving worship to God fuels faith. My spirit rejoices in God, my savior. He is mighty, loving, merciful, and faithful to keep his promise.

In a sentence, when faith and discouragement take up residence, the answer is not to believe harder, and there is no need for guilt or shame. The Christmas story reminds us to feed faith more than discouragement. Merry Christmas from the 4GEN Team.

The 4GEN team will be taking a break until the first of the year; see you then.